Why You Need A Career Coach
Do you ever feel so unfulfilled, bored, and unmotivated with your work?
You tell yourself "I don’t really hate my job, but I just wish I liked it more."
In this episode, I'm joined by Lily Woi - a former corporate consultant who is now a career coach and entrepreneur.
Lily holds a Diploma of Transformational Coaching from Animas Centre for Coaching, is a member of the Institute of Leadership and Management, a trained facilitator for #IamRemarkable workshops, and trained in optimizing team dynamics.
We discussed how Lily made the transition from a successful corporate job to being an entrepreneur. Lily shared how she confronted her fears of making the leap from working in corporate to becoming an entrepreneur. We also talked about why:
The laziest people can be the most efficient people
Working smarter is better than working hard
You shouldn’t be intimidated by job titles
There's a special gift at the end for everyone who listens to this episode. Book in your free call with Lily here.
Connect with Lily on LinkedIn or Instagram.
Connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theworldinherwords/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/theworldinherwords/
Subscribe to our mailing list to receive career strategies, advice, and inspirational stories delivered straight to your inbox.
Transcript
Why you need a career coach
Aisha: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the world in her words, where we inspire black women and women of color to take control of their careers, through sharing strategies, advice, and inspirational stories. I'm your host Aisha Suleiman. And to check out more of our content, sign up to our mailing list or to say hello, go to our website, theworldinherwords.com
[00:00:21] Today's guest is Lily Woi and she is a career coach on a mission to help professionals to unlock their full potential so they can succeed. People come to Lily because they feel stuck and unfulfilled with their careers. They don't know what they want, how to get there, or even why they want it. Lily helps them to get purposeful and intentional to break the glass ceiling and to unleash their full potential.
[00:00:41] Her journey has been an interesting one. She went from letting her company mold her into another corporate consultant to breaking free taking charge of her own journey and carving out a role for herself through her company. Lee holds a diploma of transformational coaching from the animas center for coaching, she's a member of the Institute of leadership and management, and is also trained in optimizing team dynamics. I really enjoyed my conversation with Lily because investing in a career coach is one of the best investments you can make for yourself. I think a good career coach is worth their weight in gold.
[00:01:12] So I hope you enjoy the discussion. Welcome to the show Lily
[00:01:16] Lily: [00:01:16] Thanks for having me.
[00:01:18] Aisha: [00:01:18] So tell us who is Lily, tell us about you. What's your story? And what do you do at the moment?
[00:01:22] Lily: [00:01:22] Sure, I'm a career and leadership development coach. I'm based in London, UK, originally from Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. And moved to the UK for studies and stayed on for work.
[00:01:37] I used to work in corporate consultancy training and advising companies to deliver multimillion transformational programs. Before I acme across an opportunity to do career and leadership development for a client, I was like, this sounds very interesting. So I jumped at it. And that was the spot that led me to where I am today.
[00:02:03] Everything just kind of fell into place. And I found my calling. I was so passionate about doing this, that somehow, I'm not sure, you know, what exactly did I do, but I managed to carve out a role within my company to do just this. Yeah. I managed to convince them to pilot a career coaching and leadership development course for my current and upcoming leaders, all the, while being more junior in great today.
[00:02:35] Aisha: [00:02:35] Wow. That's amazing.
[00:02:38] Lily: [00:02:38] Basically, I managed to create a career that gets me excited every day in a corporate established company. Okay. And on the verge of a very lucrative promotion, I decide that I want to resign from my company to start my own career coaching business. So now what I do, is corporate professionals, hire me to unlock their full potential and succeed because most people feel stuck and unfulfilled with their current work life.
[00:03:12] Not to mention, they don't really know what they want. How to get there or why do they even want it? So I help them to get very purposeful and intentional to break that glass ceiling and to unleash their full potential. The bottom line is I'm here to help them to get excited about their careers.
[00:03:35] Aisha: [00:03:35] I love that. I love what you said about breaking your own glass ceiling and how cool that you were able to create the job that you wanted.
[00:03:43] I think often when people think about changing careers, they often think that they have to leave their company, but sometimes you can stay in the company and create what you want, which is exactly what you did, which is amazing. The other thing I wanted to say, I didn't realize you were from Malaysia.
[00:03:58] I've been to Kuala Lumpur. Absolutely loved it. Lovely people. I ate so much.
[00:04:07] Lily: [00:04:07] Yeah. That's the number one thing that I always recommend the foot in KL. It's fantastic.
[00:04:13] Aisha: [00:04:13] Fantastic. And very welcoming people. So for anyone listening, if you've never been to Malaysia, definitely put it on your travel list, but back to you Lily.
[00:04:22] So, how did you know what it was time for you to make that switch to running your own business?
[00:04:28]Lily: [00:04:28] Okay. A few things really, my company and my team has, has been great. They've given me the space to grow and to develop into who I am today, which I'm forever grateful for, but there's just something in me that said, you know, this is the right time. I wanted to do more of what I'm doing which is directly working with people who are struggling with their careers, because some of them, they don't know what help is out there for them. They don't know what resources are there for them. And I also wanted the freedom to choose who I want to work with and how I want to work with them. So that kind of helped me to make the decision to say, yup, this is the right time.
[00:05:07] And I'm glad I did it.
[00:05:08] Aisha: [00:05:08] Yeah. I think being able to choose who you work with, I think that's super empowering. And I think a lot of entrepreneurs mentioned that being able to choose your clients, people talk about even firing clients sometimes if it's not working. So that's, that's really great that you were able to, I guess, find the courage, but did you feel afraid and if you felt afraid, how did you deal with the fear of taking that?
[00:05:30] Lily: [00:05:30] Whoa. Um, of course, you know, I was so afraid and I think the day that I resigned from my company, I was a mess emotionally. I was a mess. There was so many fears. Can I make a living off of this? Where would I find my clients? How do I even start the business? Who do I talk to? And what would others think of me if I fail?
[00:05:53] So there were a lot of fears I had. However, I find that the most - what, what was really stopping me from making the decision or the fear that was stopping me, it's about financials. It's about the ability and, and money. Fortunately, my parents have always instilled in me about, you know, good saving, good investment.
[00:06:14] So when I started my career, I started a small savings pot, you know, five, 10 pounds every week and started growing from there. So I was able to do some calculation to see how long I want to give myself the space to fail or to experiment, to learn and to see when or if I'm able to get a steady flow of income.
[00:06:35] And from that, once I reached that target, my fear just fell away because I now have a safety net. So the question then, What's the worst thing that could happen. You know, I think that's a really good question. What's the worst thing that could happen. Yeah. Yeah. Because in my mind, if this does not work out, I go back into full time employment.
[00:06:57] I go back into full-time employment. I go back into the job hunting process. So that was the worst thing that could happen to me. And I know this can sound very blase and not everyone has the same privilege. You said that. Yeah. Well, you know, if my business doesn't work out, I just go and find full-time employment.
[00:07:13] But I find that often than not, what's stopping us from doing what we want or kind of going after what we want is ourself.
[00:07:22] Aisha: [00:07:22] Yes. I, I think I agree with you there, especially the point where you just say you were worried about what will other people think about me if I fail, I think we all worry about that, which is the weirdest thing, right?
[00:07:34] Because we're all worrying about it. So if we're all worrying about it, And then why don't we think, okay, this other person is probably thinking the same thing anyway, and maybe that should help us sort of relax, but it doesn't. And I think I would say those are probably, a lot of the mindsets that hold us back, even in the workplace as well right? Thinking what will other people think about me. But what are some of the other beliefs that you see in your coaching practice that really hold women back in the workplace?
[00:07:59] Lily: [00:07:59] The most common one I see. The stereotypes or the belief that we grew up with about ourself before even we start out in our career.
[00:08:09] So for example, in terms of deciding what kind of career we choose - math, science, engineering are still very male dominated in that there is still this cultural stereotype that a woman does not really belong there. That's why, as in terms of our own confidence, in applying for roles that we want, but we don't fully meet the job description criteria.
[00:08:32] So there's been a lot of research being done that women don't put themselves forward for a role if they don't meet every criteria, men, if they meet 60%. Yep. That's good enough. They'll go for it.
[00:08:46] Aisha: [00:08:46] Yep. I think that's so, so accurate. And I think back to your point about the types of careers as well, I think what could happen I think if you're from a certain culture, so for example, Nigerian culture, it's, you have to be a doctor, a lawyer, you know, those types of those types of careers. If you want to do something else, like, you know, arts or media, filmmaking then it's like, oh no, no, no, no. That's not going to be good.
[00:09:16] That's not their definition of success.
[00:09:20]Lily: [00:09:20] Exactly. It's, it's the same with me. So my upbringing I'm from a Chinese background and my interest has always been in psychology and in human behaviors. And unfortunately at that point, Making a decision on what do I want to do with my career or as my undergrad, psychology was still a topic that was not looked at as a stable career path as something that would give you financial stability.
[00:09:46] So I was kind of by my, by all my peers, my family, my friends, my relatives, they kind of steer me away to do something that is - that's traditionally seen as more stable.
[00:09:57] Aisha: [00:09:57] Yep. Yeah. So sometimes it's not even us. It's what other people tell us. I think for me, one thing that comes to mind is this concept of working hard.
[00:10:06] You know, there's this whole thing of, oh, you have to work hard. And I find myself challenging that as I got older, because I noticed it wasn't always about working hard in terms of working really long hours, it was about working smart and in your work, always looking for ways to do things quicker or reduce the amount of time it takes to do something or, you know, creating even things like templates.
[00:10:30] So you don't have to keep sending the same types of emails. If you create a document, how can you take that and turn that into like a training guide. And also rather than thinking, how could I work longer hours, think to yourself, you know, how can I work the amount of hours that I need to do to get my job done and do it in an efficient way?
[00:10:48] Lily: [00:10:48] As exactly as I agree, it's not about working hard. It's about working smart. I mean, I often say this, a lot of people laugh. I find that the laziest people are often the smartest people. Because they found ways to cut through the time you would think to get things done
[00:11:07] Aisha: [00:11:07] You might be onto something there it's so funny yesterday I saw an article where I think they said, was it Bill Gates that said he likes to hire lazy people because they actually find clever ways to do things. So I think you're actually onto something there.
[00:11:22] Lily: [00:11:22] The thing is it's, it's all about understanding, and one of the philosophies that, you know, I really believe in it's experimentation. So fail fast. Just try it out. If it doesn't work, try something else that there's no point spending so much time planning and planning and replanning without even actually doing it because you will never know.
[00:11:44] Aisha: [00:11:44] Yes. Yes, absolutely. And when we talk about things like, you know, why women wait until they have like a hundred percent of the criteria, where do you think that comes from? Why do you think a lot of women do that?
[00:11:57] I believe
[00:11:57] Lily: [00:11:57] it's a lot about our environment that we grew up. You know, our cultural kind of environment, our country's environment, the people that we surround ourselves with. And there's also always the gender stereotype. It comes up - women are expected to be perfect. They are expected to, you know, be able to do a lot of things effortlessly. They'll be a mom and juggle career. Be able to take care of five kids cope, do the laundry, succeed in their career. So you need to have this perfect image that you present to other people to say that yes, I'm a successful woman.
[00:12:33] So that's why there's an inherent kind of fear of not going after something until, you know, you're able to do it.
[00:12:41] Aisha: [00:12:41] Perfectionism wrapped up with a bow. Yeah. And I also think that sometimes when it comes to jobs specifically, I think we let job titles scare us. So, you know, when you see something like director or head of, or, you know, SVP or VP, I think sometimes people don't need try to read the job description to think can I actually do the rol?. They just see the title and think, Nope, I'm not experienced enough for this. I'm not even going to try. And I remember I saw this quote, was it on Twitter? It must've been LinkedIn cause I haven't been on Twitter for some time now and it said don't self reject and that really stayed with me because so many of us practice that self-rejection where you don't even try and you say, oh, I'm not good enough.
[00:13:30] It's better to try and then let them tell you that rather than.
[00:13:37] Lily: [00:13:37] I also feel like this is also part of our upbringing, all the culture stereotype in a way that a woman or minority has this duty to represent, you know, we need to represent, and this prevents us from making the most of opportunities and taking risks and just failing because we - you know, what if they don't like me? What if somehow I represent the ability of my entire ethnicity or my entire background, because suddenly there's so much pressure on you to be perfect and to be successful.
[00:14:11]Aisha: [00:14:11] Yeah. Yes. I think we definitely do that. I think instead of focusing on the plus side, right. So often when I speak to people, they say, oh, I feel like I've only been invited into the room or to this meeting because I'm a woman or I'm from an ethnic minority group.
[00:14:25] And I ask them to reframe that because okay. So even if you are the only woman in the room, that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing because it's like, okay, here we have some diversity. Yes. I'm the only woman, but at least there's a woman in the room. And so I can bring a different perspective. I can bring in the female perspective, obviously not representing all women just representing my point of view and probably what women who are like me would think, or, you know, I'm from an ethnic minority group, everyone here is white. I can bring in a different perspective. So rather than seeing our identities as a burden or something, that's bad, actually seeing the value of it.
[00:15:05] Lily: [00:15:05] Exactly. And it's about having the confidence or developing the confidence to move away from will they like me to I will be fine even if they don't.
[00:15:17]Aisha: [00:15:17] I like that. I will be fine, even if they don't. Yep. That is so key because wanting everyone to like you is actually very unrealistic because you don't like everybody.
[00:15:26] So why would you expect that everybody would like you? It's very unrealistic and I think it's an impossible standard to hold yourself to - not even a high standard - impossible. So in terms of some of these mindsets and beliefs, then what are some of your suggestions in terms of how you, you can overcome them?
[00:15:41] Lily: [00:15:41] The first thing it's about claiming your space. Tap into your space, claim everything, walk into the room as if you own the room, because I think often we unconsciously minimize or undermine ourselves. So for example, I find that women, or sometimes minorities would like to insert the word actually, or just in how we start the sentence.
[00:16:07] For example, I actually disagree with. Oh, I actually have a question. I just wanted to follow up. I don't wanna say, you know, you don't really need to put it, why do you actually have a question? You just have a question. Oh, I have a question. Yeah.
[00:16:22] Aisha: [00:16:22] Yeah. I think I've caught myself doing that a couple of times. That's why I'm laughing.
[00:16:25] Lily: [00:16:25] I, I do that a lot as well. And another thing that I find it, funny that all of us ask this, does that make sense? Am I making sense? Because you subconsciously, position yourself as someone that's incoherent. That someone struggles to understand.
[00:16:43] Aisha: [00:16:43] Yeah, I do that one a lot. Okay. I'm going to make a mental note. I need to stop doing that.
[00:16:49] Lily: [00:16:49] When I shared this in some of my training sessions, some of the women came up to me afterwards and said, you know what, I do this all the time and I'm going to start tracking the way I write my emails, the way I speak to people. Right. Do a tally at the end of the day see how many times I actually use this word.
[00:17:05] Aisha: [00:17:05] I like that, that's a good strategy. So for anyone listening, start writing down when you use actually, just - what what's another one. Does that make sense? Yeah. I think that's a really good habit to have. Are there any other suggestions you have in terms of how to overcome some of these beliefs and mindsets. I mean, I guess this is where coaching comes in, right?
[00:17:27] Lily: [00:17:27] Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think a lot of - another thing that, you know, I want to people to think about is most often than not, you are the one holding yourself back, not anyone else. Not, you know, the situation, not the environment, not the circumstances, it's you yourself.
[00:17:45] So it's about - to think about what are you actually afraid of? What are you running away from that is stopping you from doing something or going after something, because most of the time it's something that you can control and that you're able to overcome with support with help, but it's something - your mindset is something in you.
[00:18:05] Aisha: [00:18:05] Yeah. And I think coaching can be really helpful for that because I think anytime you sort of speak to someone or - journaling as well, can help with this, but just talking through your fears and some of your options. That could really help you to get the clarity that you need. So, for example, what you just mentioned at the start of our conversation, where you thought to yourself, what am I afraid of?
[00:18:28] And then you were like, okay, well I have some savings. This is how long I have before I can start thinking about, okay, maybe I need to go back into full-time employment. And then once you realized you had that safety blanket, then it was - oh, wait, what am I actually afraid of? So I think talking through each of your fears and then coming up with a strategy for, okay, this is how I'm going to address it.
[00:18:50] This is how I'm going to address it. That really, really helps. And I think having a coach, it helps with that
[00:18:54] Lily: [00:18:54] A hundred percent, a hundred percent.
[00:18:57] Aisha: [00:18:57] I thought of something else. You know when we talked about walking into the room and owning it. I think one way to do that is to feel confident in your appearance.
[00:19:06] I think for example, how you dress and dressing in a way that makes you happy, makes you feel comfortable is a really great way to be able to walk into the room and own it.
[00:19:18] Lily: [00:19:18] I agree. I have an outfit that I class it as my power outfit. Yes, it is this very nice dress that I feel very confident in and have very comfortable high heels and there is a specific type of makeup that I go with it. And when I put all those on I'm like, yup. I'm ready to rule the day.
[00:19:40] Aisha: [00:19:40] I love that.
[00:19:40] And I thought of it because I think for me, I love bright colors. So I'm the same as you with my makeup. I'll go for like my purple lipstick.
[00:19:48] I go for like green or blue eyeliner. Jazz it up and it just instantly makes me feel really good. Or sometimes even when I'm not going anywhere, I'll just say to myself, you know what, I'm going to put some makeup on. And then it becomes like a fun activity and instantly it makes me feel better. So I think doing things that you love in your own way, so not dressing in the way that you think other people well, like dressing in the way that you find comfortable in what you like.
[00:20:15] I think that's really key.
[00:20:16] Lily: [00:20:16] Yes. its doing it for yourself not anyone else.
[00:20:20] Aisha: [00:20:20] Yeah. I think the other thing as well, in terms of overcoming mindset and beliefs, I think coaching and also therapy go hand in hand because with therapy, you can really uncover a lot of the mindsets and beliefs and where they come from, even from like childhood.
[00:20:37] Because often we think very surface level, we think what's driving something is very surface level. Right. But then when you dive deeper, then you're like, oh, actually this is where this comes from or where that comes from. So is that something you recommend for your clients?
[00:20:50] Lily: [00:20:50] It's very dependent on the situation.
[00:20:53] Sometimes coaching can feel like therapy. I keep a very clear distinction in terms of, I don't go into the therapy side of things. I'm not a qualified therapist. I have not spent years kind of studying and how to help people to work through, some of their past trauma and challenges. Coaching is more about understanding about your past experience so we can move forward with a very clear plan of action that fits your personalities, your values and, and your motivation. And you know, to your point, what was interesting that what you share in terms of the surface level challenges? Often I see those as symptoms, that is driven by one root cause and the way that it's surfacing, it's just different symptoms that might look like you know, this are very different occasions, but if you really drill a bit deeper, it's connected to the same issue.
[00:21:50] Aisha: [00:21:50] Yeah. That makes perfect sense. I think I often talk about how we try to separate the personal from the professional and it's not something that can be done. And I think what was it you said when we had a catch up the last time, don't have the illusion that you can split yourself into half.
[00:22:06] Lily: [00:22:06] Yeah. You can't. Yeah. You can't unzip yourself and say that. Right. You know, let me wear my work skin on and going to work and unzip myself and I'll be my personal like life again.
[00:22:20] Aisha: [00:22:20] It's like being an alien. So Lily, why should someone invest in coaching? What would you say are some of the benefits?
[00:22:29]Lily: [00:22:29] You will gain clarity with your career in terms of what you want, why you want it, and how do you actually accelerate your progress in getting it. Increased confidence in yourself and in terms of managing and navigating your career, having the accountability of doing what you say you're going to do, rather, rather than just saying that you want to do it, but actually have someone telling you that do it now, why, why aren't you doing it? What's going on? As well as a lot of people that went through career coaching, see an increase in financial returns in terms of salary, in terms of finding a new, new role, etc. But I think also the most important thing about career coaching is also a sign that you're committed in investing in yourself because we don't do this enough, you know, investing in our personal devices.
[00:23:20] And a career coach can really help you to be proactive in your career and help you to be more resourceful in terms of making the most with what you already have. And, you know, if you're at the stage where you feel that you deserve more from your career, chances are you're ready to work with a coach. As far as a tip, depending on your relationship with your employer, get them tho sponsor you.
[00:23:45] A lot of companies does this but the thing is you just need to go and ask.
[00:23:51] Aisha: [00:23:51] Yes. Usually companies have a budget for things like training and development and actually career coaching comes into that as well.
[00:23:58] Lily: [00:23:58] Exactly, exactly. So, you know, get in touch with your employer, build a case around it and get them to sponsor you for career coaching.
[00:24:06] Aisha: [00:24:06] Yes. And I like what you said about investing in yourself and how often we don't do that. Investing in yourself is so important. And if it's your career, so why not invest some time into making sure that it's the best possible experience for you?
[00:24:19] Lily: [00:24:19] Exactly, exactly. And, you know, as a thank you to all your loyal listeners listening to us right now, I'm very happy to offer a free 30 minutes laser breakthrough session for them to get on the call with me to really hone in on what is actually stopping them from achieving their career goals.
[00:24:40] Aisha: [00:24:40] Amazing. Thank you, Lily.
[00:24:41] Lily: [00:24:41] No worries. My pleasure.
[00:24:43] Aisha: [00:24:43] Can you share one example of a customer or a client that you've worked with and you've been really happy with their progress?
[00:24:51] Lily: [00:24:51] Yeah, definitely. There was a client I worked with two and a half years ago, she came with very high standards of herself. Like she's always trying to aim for perfection in her work life in her whole life and in all of her relationship, but she never really found the time to make herself a priority. And because of that, There was a lot of frustration in her in terms of how it's being reflected in her relationship with her family, with her partner and at her work, she is being kind of seen as someone that is very aggressive because she has always tried to prioritize them over herself.
[00:25:32] And when she's not getting that in return, you know, she become quite frustrated - confrontational. You know, in the communication. And the funny thing is they don't know, you know, her colleagues, her peers, don't know anything about this. They didn't realize the amount of investment she has put in into their relationship.
[00:25:50] So they are uncertain on why is she behaving this way? So we really spend the time to uncover and work through - where'd this come from, you know, why is that a need for this perfection, for this standard? And why is there a lack of a lack of making herself a priority? And we got into a lot of, conversation.
[00:26:13] And for me to be part of that conversation too, to listen and to be in the same space as her, as she reflected and worked through her own childhood upbringing, her experience, the environment that shaped her to who she was as well as giving her the steps, the tools and the space to think about who she wants to be.
[00:26:36] I think I was very grateful and very humbled to be part of the experience. And also, you know, she is the testimonial that I've always referenced it because me, myself, I was so inspired about her journey in, seeing her overcoming, you know, blockers after blockers about her mindset, about her belief, about, you know, what she thought was true.
[00:27:01] I overcome some of my own limiting beliefs myself as well. And I was the coach in this situation.
[00:27:06] Aisha: [00:27:06] I think that's a great story. And I think often what happens is we have these expectations of others. But then we don't communicate it. And then that builds resentment because we then think, oh, why doesn't this person, appreciate what I'm doing?
[00:27:20] Well, the first thing is they never asked you to do that. Right. And then the other thing is you haven't communicated that you expect this in return as well. And I think the worst thing you can do is when you're not happy, whether personally or professionally, and you don't speak up and you expect people to read your mind, because then you're not giving them a chance.
[00:27:39] Lily: [00:27:39] I always say don't assume anything.
[00:27:42] Aisha: [00:27:42] That is good advice. That is good advice. So great to have you on the show lily thank you so much for sharing your advice and your wisdom.
[00:27:49] Lily: [00:27:49] It was my pleasure. I had such a good time.
[00:27:54] Aisha: [00:27:54] If you want to join our community of black women and women of color, to talk more about this topic, then follow our LinkedIn or Instagram page.
[00:28:01] I'd love to hear from you. To read the show notes for this episode, go to theworldinherwords.com. Take good care of yourself.
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